Q

Anonymous asked:

Is it possible to be asexual but still turned on by sex? Like being aroused by the concept of it but not having any actual desire to engage in it?

A

life-of-an-asexual:

yeah. the act of sex and sexual orientation are separate things. as long as you don’t feel sexual attraction, you can call yourself asexual. being able to be aroused by the thought of sex doesn’t affect that

~Mod Q

Q

Anonymous asked:

hi, so I recently discovered that asexual is my thing. I told my mum and my sister was in the same room and they continued to persist that it's normal for women not to feel sexually attracted to men and my sis says I will definitely be with someone one day. they convinced me so much that, I don't know if they're right or wrong. I'm really confused wether I am asexual or uninformed. my mum even said that the sole reason men go with girls is for sex, so I will be alone. that's not true, right?

A

life-of-an-asexual:

it is not true in the slightest. all of that is absolute bullshit. it is a common misconception, because we have been socialized by society to believe that women are inherently emotional beings and that men are inherently sexual beings, and that women aren’t supposed to desire sex and men are supposed to desire nothing but sex. but like i said, that’s bullshit. if you feel you are asexual, then you are asexual

~Mod Q

Q

Anonymous asked:

So I somewhat recently got a bf. He's great and I love him and we have kissed and I like kissing him. But I'm not a big fan of anything after that. I don't know if it just that I'm not ready and really scared if the idea of sex or if I just general don't like it. It's hard for me to think up a straight answer because I always over think and I'm worried that if I am asexual than he will dump me and be mad and idk what I really am.

A

life-of-an-asexual:

it sounds like you’re experiencing sex repulsion, which, while common among asexuals, is not exclusive to asexuals. asexuality is not feeling sexual attraction, so if you’ll have to determine that. here are some posts that might help

but regardless of whether or not you decide you’re asexual, you’ll have to explain to your boyfriend that you aren’t interested in sex, and that you aren’t ready to try it out, and that you may never be. you aren’t being “unreasonable” or “expecting too much”

some people don’t want or need sex in relationships, and it’s perfectly fine. if you’re boyfriend does need sex to feel fulfilled in a relationship, then it just means you aren’t compatible, and you are under to obligation to force yourself to have sex with him in order to sustain your relationship. if he has a problem with this and reacts negatively or tries to pressure you or insist you “have” to have sex, then he isn’t a safe person to be in a relationship with, and you need to break it off with him, even though it will hurt and be hard

if you have any other questions or need clarification, please feel free to ask

~Mod Q

astronomifier:

rachelhaimowitz:

obsessionisaperfume:

deadcatwithaflamethrower:

queensimia:

palavenblues:

holy shit there is a name for it

Well damn. Explains a lot.

Suddenly I understand some of my fan base a LOT better.  That is Awesome. 

"holy shit there is a name for it" was my reaction before I even scrolled down to the comments.

I just need to keep reblogging this because I cannot even begin to tell you how profound a feeling of YES and THIS and THERE IS A WORD FOR ME OMG I get every time I see this, and I hope it helps others too.

seriously, anytime you see a post with a comment saying “theres a name for it?!” reblog that post because even if it doesnt apply to you any of your followers could be waiting for that revelation.

(via ponzai)

Q

Anonymous asked:

A lot of people say when they found out about their romantic/sexual orientation they immediately identified with it like they just knew it was them. But when I first read about asexuality I was never like that? I didn't automatically identify or think it was me. It took me a long time to identify with it, and think about if I've ever felt sexual attraction. Same goes for that I THINK I'm aro but I'm not sure? I guess I'm trying to ask if you know anything about why it would be like that for me?

A

anagnori:

Same thing happened to me, actually. First heard about asexuality when I was about 11 or so; didn’t identify with it until I was 21. I didn’t identify as aromantic until about 6 months after I learned about it. Neither one of them just “clicked” for me, and I had a lot of doubts at first. I didn’t become more certain until after I’d been using the labels for a while.

I don’t think your situation is uncommon. A lot of us probably go through a period of thinking “Eh, I’ll probably feel attraction later,” or “I’m not sure if I’ve felt attraction or not.” It’s hard to be sure whether you’ve felt something if you have no frame of reference for what it’s supposed to feel like, y’know?

Q

Anonymous asked:

Hey I love your blog! So I've been kind of confused lately. I know that I'm asexual, but I'm still not sure if I'm aromantic or not. Mostly because all the relationships in the media and stuff are portrayed as the same romantically and sexually. So I guess I'm asking what the "boundaries", for lack of a better word, are for platonic vs romantic vs sexual relationships. For example would cuddling be in a platonic relationship or romantic, and kissing kind of thing. Thank you so much!

A

life-of-an-asexual:

this is a good post to help you figure out if you’re aromantic. and here is an ask i answered about discerning between asexuality and aromanticism. here is a post about the different attractions people can feel. and here i talked a little about what makes an activity platonic or sexual or romantic

personally, i do not believe that there are finite boundaries about what classifies something as platonic or romantic or sexual. for me, it depends of the relationship i have with the person i’m doing the activity with. for example, cuddling with friends is platonic because our relationship is platonic, but cuddling with my girlfriend is romantic because our relationship is romantic

ultimately, it’s up for you to decide based on what you personally feel. also, this a post about queerplatonic relationships that might be of interest to you

~Mod Q

muffledsoundofscience:

Seriously though, I get why people get pissy about “hetero norm”but like I think everyone’s default is their sexuality like when I see a cute boy I’m like yay we can watch movies and hold hands and eat food and when it finally gets through to me they want sex it’s always like “whoa whoa whoa where did that come from I had no warnings for this are you straight??!?!”

(via totallyace)

bigcrazybrowngirl:

I probably should have known I was asexual when I realized sex dreams were a real thing and not a joke.